You belong to me
by Ilovenerds
Summary: For all of those who, like me, just can't get enough of this pairing KakashiIruka all the way PD: first fic be patient, might get better O.o
1. Routines

So, I've been a fan of Kakashi/Iruka pairing for some time now, I think I must have read every fic with those two as protagonists(hehe well possibly not, hopefully is more like it I still want to read some more;) so I decided to make my own fic, now, I don't know if I'm any good at writing or not, but well… here goes nothing right?

Oh yeah, the disclaimer thing: I do not, I repeat, I do not own anything of the naruto world… there you go

Another thing: if this plot looks way to familiar for your liking I have nothing to say except that is not my fault, I didn't go out of my way to copy someone else's work, I wouldn't do that, it just happen that the world is so wide and we people are so many that we are bound to somehow find someone who thinks alike… oh and love is a universal theme hehe

Now… more rambling hehe just kidding

You belong to me

Chapter I: routines

He always kept things under control; there was always order in his little chaotic world… in his little chaotic way

And so, there he was… as it had become his routine, sitting on the same branch of the same tree, the same convenient view, and he asked himself how did all begun.

At the beginning there were only a few sporadic encounters, he would give his reports on the mission he had just fulfilled and he would take them… never more than a few words were shared, only those required out of courtesy.

Had that been the beginning of it all? Yeah… probably was.

And so the times of the missions went, but those missions grew boring and terribly long, so he did whatever he could to finish them up as soon as humanly possible… that obviously earned him even more to complete, but that was ok, in his mind that only meant that he needed to hand more reports. He was a happy man.

All of the sudden he found himself joining his loud pupil on the few meals they used to have, he said the love for ramen had stroke him one day and could not possibly go away any time soon; there were some untrusting glances shared, but that soon disappeared, it all mixed in a comfortable routine.

And he begun to get tired, training was hard and the job was not suit for a recognised genius as he was, so he went to rest to the forest, near the academy by the city. He said it would do wonders for his concentration skills, after all, if he could meditate around little rascals, he could meditate everywhere right? He earned a few yells, two "bakas" and a "lazy bastard" but after that it would all end up going back to normal, one more step in his routine.

And so it was that he found his comfortable branch on his ever present beloved tree, and every morning he awaited for the noise, because noise only meant one thing, all the little people would go out, leaving one lonely person in a room, whom would then go to the window and stare at the playing ground, never lifting his sight, never noticing him. But that was ok, those were the most perfect moments he would experience through the day, and he was glad for little blessings.

He loved the other's little routine too, after all, how could he not? He might under different circumstances find it boring, but he was a practical man if nothing else and he knew this too worked for his advantage.

He knew when the other appeared at the window that that day it would be apples, it wasn't Wednesday for nothing; he would eat it and wait till the recess was over, always watching through the glass. He knew that that day there would be a test, and that sensei would stay late because he had to finish grading papers, he also knew he would grade them at the teacher's room, there was better lighting and more space… there were also no trees near those windows… He didn't like test days.

And so finally he knew, he realized of what was so painfully obvious for the others, of course it took Asuma to tell him, but at the end he knew. He had a crush, and it was a blessing to know, it was incertitude that kept him up at night, so the knowledge was quite welcomed. Nights became tolerable because he now knew what he was ill for; and as he was sure, those feelings were famous for their inconstancy, they would soon fly away, so why not enjoy them while they were there? It wasn't really important that it was one sided, weren't those things supposed to be anyways?

And so his routine consumed his days and weeks, he after all felt at peace in the safety of his steps, if he could do nothing but watch him, he would still be happy.

And then his walks begun, always at night, always to the same place; the very first time it happened, he felt unsure. He couldn't sleep so he ended up walking away from his room, he could surely find some rest after a night stroll; then again, if he really thought about it, it wasn't all that much of a surprise finding himself on his door, and he could also blame it on sheer curiosity when he stood at his bedroom window, after all, he was known for his perverted ways, not that he minded much really, he was rather proud of that little accomplishment. His little precious title.

It wouldn't be the only time not the last one; it got again mixed on his routine. And he was happy for it; it was after all, under his control.

Every night he would stay awake, just staring trough the thin glass of the bedroom window, but every night became harder to leave, but he still would of course, because he was in control.

And then that night happened, the night when he wouldn't leave, he just kept staring, saying to himself that he would go soon… but, to be there… just some time more, a little longer… and the night died, and he awoke to the terrifying morning when he realized that he was no longer under control, and that he probably hadn't been for a while now. And he ran.

He spent a few days cloistered in his apartment, he didn't once respond to the pleads of his friends, he got worried the Hokage herself, all of that just for one day to go out as if nothing had happened. Of course, no one knew.

Love… it took him a while to get use to the concept; when did he lost so much of his self control and let a simple crush become something as dangerous as love was? Well at least he knew what he was fighting against, not that that made it any better. He was helplessly and stupidly in love with someone that if he was correct would not give him the time of the day even if his life depended on it… well maybe that was only him going all dramatic, but, love gives you licence to be so… and he would be damn if he didn't use the opportunity.

And so he decided to take control again, which of course landed him several more times under the same old beloved window.

Did he give up? Well of course he did, he just took his failure under a different approach; he decided that he was supposed to be there, and that maybe, by just standing there he would placate that "love" thing that was bothering him so.

And so he did, he spent again all of his days and nights watching over someone that would probably never realize that there he was just waiting for some sign, waiting for the moment the suspiciously innocent teacher would get a clue; honest to god, he couldn't believe there could exist someone as oblivious as he seemingly was.

But then… what if he wasn't? What if that innocent face was just a façade? What if he knew of his feelings? Then maybe he just didn't want to go for the trouble of telling him to back off, or maybe he just pitied him.

Gai was the first to notice how his seemingly sunny disposition begun to darken; he still talked like he always did, he still made fun of his easily peeved students, he still gave in into their little tournaments, but there was something the Jounin wasn't letting show… and for that Gai was worried.

And then everything started to change… it came the morning when he wouldn't lift from the floor, just waited under the window, very aware that he could get easily discovered, but at the same time yearning for that to happen.

He didn't glance at him once in his hurry for leave the house… it was indeed very late, at least that's what he told himself, he didn't had the courage to look at his watch or even to look at the sky and search for answers; he then understood that he was a coward, and that he didn't really wanted to know.

He then got assigned to do a very difficult mission, he took it without questioning. He should have thanked the heavens that he got to go with Gai. He wasn't all that attentive those days though.

Gai only asked him to do the report for them bought and the usual "never ever do that again" phrase friends sometimes say.

He handed the report as usual, well, if usual means to throw it into some poor "not so sure anymore" innocent Chuunin's face that is. That of course only earned him a few dark glares some other concerned ones and one of deep hurt and confusion, one that because of his own mental health was better off left ignored.

He kept his routine though, handing his reports… via Gai that is, he wasn't all that welcomed in the mission room anymore; going to that tree's branch and throwing pebbles at the window so that maybe someone would go out and look what the fuss was all about, although they eventually stopped caring; he still attended his meals at Ichiraku's he just didn't join tem anymore, not that they invite him anyway; and finally, he still went on those night strolls, he could not stop that even if he was forced to stop the others. He would forever if he had something to say in the matter stay under that window, yes, that was something no one could take away from him; that was something he wasn't willing to give away.

And so he fell ill, it was just a matter of time really; once more he should have been thankful for Gai's friendship, but he wasn't paying attention, and Gai understood anyway.

He had to fight him after he was cured though, which send the whole idea of an understanding Gai right to the toilette; oh well, he should have known better.

He never thought he would get the beating of a life time when he accepted the duel, obviously Gai knew what he was doing; that night was the first night he went home to sleep by his own wish, of course he understood Gai intentions right away… he just didn't understood why couldn't he just talk like normal people does… but never the less, point taken.

After some hopefully quick recovery, Kakashi would finally go and confront Iruka.

So? Did you like it? Uh? You loved it? Geez thanks, I'm a proud momma!

Well kidding aside, don't be too rude, I'm new at these XD


	2. Iruka's ordinary day

So... I'm sort of late uh? I've been horribly sick! and in bed for the last week, oh well it was just a flu really haha I'm a bit spoiled I guess. Anyway, I'm sorry for the late deliver and all, oh, also for the crapy chapter, I can't quite point what it is that I don't like, but it's there, I'm sure you'll find it.

Oh, also sorry for the spelling and grammar. do not speako inglés haha, yeah... anyway, if anyone out there is as kind as to help me with that, it would make me the happiest girl alive XD on with the chapter then

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**Chapter II:**

"**Iruka's ordinary day"**

He didn't like surprises… he didn't like surprises at all.

The sense of security that his little routines offered him was everything to him.

Every morning he would wake up; he would go through an elaborated cleaning ritual, he knew his uniform would be waiting for him, he knew that cereals and a toast would be the only things keeping his stomach company till the recess at noon; he knew which streets would be necessary to go through to get to his destination, not a block more than the needed, he didn't dedicate so much of his time in maps research for nothing.

So he also knew with whom he would cross the usual salutes, 'good morning' at the bread store 'the toast was especially good today, any change on the recipe?' or the ever present 'Sensei! If only you could wait for a bit, Aoba will be ready soon, perhaps you could go with him, you know, talk a little before classes' while going out of the urban zone; or the always concerned but suspiciously interested voice of the old lady at the grocery store 'Oh dear, that milk you bought expires today, don't forget to come back later and grab a new one'

Yep, he was a lucky man… there were no surprises in store for him… no surprises at all.

Then it would be the academy, oh blessed moments of calm! First he would go through his things, he had all of his right material of course, he was a very organized man after all. He would change pleasantries with his co-workers in that cheerful tone he was now known for. They would talk about little nothings for a few minutes while they all waited for the children's arrival and then, just a minute before the ring he would go to the classroom, another day of work. No surprises.

He worked with children, true. He had Konohamaru assigned on his class, also true. But the thing is… he wasn't the first and surely would not be the last prankster he would teach (fate has a horrid sense of humour), so it was more of a routine really, to be the target (be it directly or not) of the adorable future ninjas imagination. God bless them, it wasn't a problem.

At noon he would have his recess, he would stay in the classroom eating patiently today's fruit (he did have a balanced regime). He would give the kids a sense of freedom while playing on the outside, the sense of freedom one can only have when we think no one's watching us, when we don't know we're being observed. Isn't ignorance bliss?

Of course this wasn't true! He would stay everyday, faithfully attached to the classroom window; before anything he was a teacher, and a damn good one if he had to say so himself.

You don't just give weapons to kids and let them run around wildly. It is only logical to watch over infants determined to show how strong they are to their fellow ninja wannabes.

Then the afternoons would come, and that could only meant one thing, extra work at the assignment room! He did after all belong to a ninja village. He had an obligation to the Hokage, and he would drop dead before he would refuse that so many times disdained and sadly underestimated office job.

But there were also test days, the only variation on his day. Of course that only meant staying a few more hours at the academy, delay work in the assignment room, sleeping a little later, a little less.

His day wasn't over without a visit to Ichiraku's ramen store. Everyday on his walk back to home, between block four and five of the urban district he would be "surprisingly" attacked for that orange whirlwind known simply as Naruto. There would be a quick exchange of screams, five pleas, a promise and two groaning stomachs that would end the discussion, all this during an everlasting hug.

Finally he would go home, taking the usual path; he would buy some milk, give his goodnights toAoba and his mother and would take toasts for breakfast in the morning, he would get home and prepare classes for tomorrow and then eventually fall sleep, no dreams coming to disturb him.

He hated surprises.

Fear to the unknown is the most fundamental instinct.

Walking without knowing the path made him feel terror beyond anything he could ever explain. Sadly, no one can really control the things that happen around them, so obviously, he did what he thought would be the next best thing.

Every little change on his routine would be carefully examined and eventually accepted as part of it.

We humans lie to ourselves so well when we find it convenient.

Every change responded surely to a reprised desire or some other lame psychology excuse, or fate if you wish. Yes, it was always easier to blame fate.

The trick was simply to adapt.

He wasn't new to change, he wasn't as naïve as to think that his perfect little routine would stay like that forever; the important thing at the end of the day was that he knew without a doubt that he was capable of overcoming those annoying surprises.

It is a known fact, that the sooner we get use to something, the sooner that something will change.

So it was no surprise when his beloved routines started crashing down.

He didn't know what had changed or when did it happened; he didn't even know if he had any responsibility on the matter. This of course bothered him the most.

There was this quote that had been carved in his very soul as a child 'Love the world and the world will love you back'. And until then he thought he had been following it very faithfully, as much as he could of course (he was a ninja, lets not forget). So to say he was surprised when he stood at the receiving end of an infuriated Jounin's wrath, was an understatement. It was true, at some moment a long time ago, he had have a disagreement with say Jounin, a little altercate, nothing out of the ordinary and surely nothing that would justify his behaviour. Throwing a mission report to the face of a (to say the least) shocked Chuunin in a room full of co workers, definitely qualified on his list as 'bad attitude'. It definitely didn't do anything for the relationship with the Jounin. Not that they had one to begin with.

Obviously, this wasn't entirely true either. He knew the professor, how could he not? After all, he did teach his beloved Naruto, and if he thought about it, they did share a lot of dinners together… how such a thing pass without him noticing? But then, he did what he did best, he justified his actions.

Of course he didn't notice the others presence! It was all really Kakashi's fault; at the beginning (being the considerate person that he was) he did tried to include him on the conversation, but after a few 'gone wrong' attempts and lack of cooperation (yes, he thought the other one didn't care) he just stopped trying. And then… the figure next to them started fading on the backgrounds, like he wasn't there to begin with; the outing was really with Naruto after all…

The incident with the Jounin did change something. He became paranoid, even more than what is healthy considering his career. Did he really do anything against the Jounin? At what point did he become someone others would like to humiliate that way? Was it only Kakashi? Did he do something against him or perhaps someone important to him? And then the other Jounins began to act weirdly too… of course Gai was never considered entirely normal, but what about Asuma? Those shared looks and sudden glances did nothing for his mental health. It was only a matter of time before Kurenai join them, her and her giggles and whispering were annoying in a whole new sense, but this he could handle… girls do have a history in weird behaviour.

As paranoid as he was admittedly being, he discovered that there were in deed some changes on his surroundings; he felt observed everyday, every hour… just observed. When did it start? Would it ever end? Who could be playing with his mind like this!

He wouldn't say anything of course; he could not share his worries. Whatever it was, the Jounins were involved, that much he knew… damn Jounins and their freakish mind games. He could not talk about it, he was afraid they would consider him 'unstable', and that is the last thing you want to be label of when your salary depends on the trust the parents deposit in you.

Then came the day when someone dared to take away his precious time of tranquillity at school, they started to throw little stones at his window, which he thought at first was nice, maybe someone was trying to call his attention; but when this didn't stop, he begun to worry. Was this an outsider? Or perhaps the children… he thought that maybe he wasn't at all the favourite teacher he thought he was, maybe kids didn't like him either. Then again, kids weren't all that bad once in the classroom, could they hide it so well? Maybe he was just loosing it…

And he realized how much his little world meant for him, how much he depended on it… how much he wanted it back.

So the sleepless nights begun, followed for bad humoured days, the running over Konoha's ceilings(this new schedule of him didn't allowed him to walk the streets), and so he lost his 'good mornings' which honestly only made him crankier and added to the stress of his new life. He started to yell at his students, maybe a bit more than was truly necessary so he felt guilty. Then the afternoon would come, full of glances and whispers; and when he thought the days could not be any worse, dinners would happen. Of course he still loved to spend time with Naruto, but sadly he wasn't the only one there, and unlike before, he could not just tune him off (not that the Jounin made any attempt to speak anyway), but Kakashi was always there, challenging him, waiting for him to finally explode; it was a battle of wills.

Iruka could not lie to himself though, he was not strong… he knew that at the end he would finally lose.

It was an afternoon and he was in the assignment room when it happened. Iruka could not hold his tears any longer, his frustration. Why did the village treat him like this?

Warm, crystalline water was falling from his eyes; all this time, all the stress finally finding a way out. He had been defeated.

He stood there, fire in his eyes, silently challenging them all to laugh, he didn't care anymore. He stood there waiting; expecting the soon to come mockery, expecting the hurtful words, expecting all to be over already.

He could not have predicted what happened next though.

He did definitely not expect to be kissed, not when his anger was taking the best of him, letting all know of his sadness.

He was surprised to say the least; and as he stood there he found himself even more surprised to be responding, slowly at first but growing into a passionate embrace. And so he let his sorrow melt away between his arms, and he thought…

'Maybe a surprise once in a while isn't as bad after all'

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any guess who the kisser is? O.o haha kidding! or am I? raise aneyebrow

oh almost forgot hehe, thanks for the reviews, I really wasn't expecting them at all, thanks to all the readers also haha it's so weird to write this, bye!

oh and send me gifts! my birthday is May 9... getting old and wrinkled here... old and wrinkled...

hmmm... also, I took Aoba's name from another character in the story ;)


	3. A good day

**A.N:** I was feeling really silly the day I wrote this so it lacks drama I believe, I'm not happy with it 'per se', but what can a girl do? and yes, I'm too lazy to re-write it

hmmm... I don't own Naruto /sighs/

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**Chapter III: A good day**

Love, love, love

Love is such a complicated thing. It really does mess up with your mind.

For Kakashi it had been like a never ending emotional rollercoaster, even though it was true he had been depressed for the last few weeks, always thinking of his unreturned feelings for a certain teacher, it was also true he woke up sometimes with his heart full of an inexplicable happiness; he was weird like that. Of course he had an excuse for that silliness today; he had been working up for several days now the courage to talk to his beloved Chuunin, and today finally he was going to (for lack of a better term) spill the beans. Oh who was he kidding, he just loved to say it!

Spill the beans!

Hmmm… where was he?

Oh yes, Kakashi loved to be in love, even though he had gone through moments when he literally wanted nothing more than to rip his heart off; to be in love also gave him the perfect excuse to be as dramatic and silly as he could (and yes, he really did could be). Gai, Asuma and every Jounin that still had eyes could be a witness to that. Kakashi never said anything of course, but there's something about people in love that screams it to the world… even if said world has no desire of hearing about it. Then again, you cannot avoid hearing the sighs of a supposedly mentally grown up man or watching the long staring exercise he seemed to practice everyday; one would say those were death giveaways.

Ok… to be completely honest, today wasn't exactly the first day he decided to talk to the Chuunin, which would explain the behaviour of the rest of the Jounin community, always meeting on the mission room to see if he actually was going to do it (some say there was a bit of gambling involved).

But today was different; he could feel it. He woke up exactly at seven, not too soon, not too late; he discovered he actually had food in store so he could breakfast; even the day could not get any better, the sun shined strongly but there was a cool breeze that freshened up the environment. It was just perfect. He wasn't one of those persons who attach their humour to the present weather; he would never be as silly as to do that… was he? Anyway, that day he decided he would play along; after all, it was a sign. And as any good reader of /cough/ "fiction", he believed in signs.

He walked the streets for once, talking to some very freaked out civilians, he wondered why, but it didn't matter (he felt like sharing the love, oh sweet Kakashi); he even was on time for his team… alright that was a complete lie, but he did have a very good conversation with Obito that day, could you really blame him? They were oh so angry. God bless their petty hearts.

He let them go earlier that day, everyone should be happy!

…His team really needs someone to wash their mouths, honestly! Some words are never meant to go out of anyone's mouth and surely not to be heard! But he would take care of that later, oh yes he would… but, not today. Today was a happy day, or would be anyway.

And so he walked again, and even though some people thought that the silly grin plastered on his face (more like his only visible eye really) was the result of his ever present orange book, he liked to muse on the fact that he knew better.

Today he was going to tell him. At first it would be awkward, but he would be gracious and give his Chuunin time to assimilate the news… not too much of course, he felt that all the time for waiting had pass already.

His eloquent discourse getting older with every passing day, some minor changes here and there; sometimes shorter, sometimes resembling an ode. Maybe he should just kiss him… his inner perv would love that. Every move… every reaction he knew he could get out of the Chuunin… the touches… what was he thinking again? Oh yes, he had to get there first, walked the streets, few more blocks and finally the doors.

He was playing on his mind every possible scenario he could be presented with. Every other day of his depressive last weeks he would have expected rejection; but there was something about today, he had a hunch, guiding him, he was sure he would do ok.

He was sure Iruka would love him back… eventually that is.

A few more touches on his speech… crap… should he do it on private or was it more romantic to scream it right then and there. What to do, what to do. There were a few bets on the line also; he couldn't forget about that, who should he favour? Who owned him money?

Silly thoughts, with a sudden rush through his veins he realized he was standing outside of the mission door. –_Alright… now or never_- he thought.

He could picture him now, even before opening that door, standing in the room; and every trace of an old speech went out flying through the window. All that mattered was him… his beautiful face full of confusion, his lovely eyes watching him, his mouth stuttering some silly answer… his fresh voice calling him, his lips… his lips covered by Genma's?

What… Why was Genma kissing Iruka?

Why the fuck was Iruka kissing him back!

And then, just before his Sharingan could come into use, everything went black.

mnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnmnm

Lust

Love

Lust

…Love?

It felt so good to embrace another body, to melt all his worries away in one (he was more than willing to admit) damn good kiss, that he forgot for a moment why he was standing there, who he was surrounded for and even who he was lip glued to; but he didn't want to remember either, he didn't want to go back to that reality, nor to think who might possibly allowed him to fly away from it all. And he definitely didn't want to think of the reason why he was like… to hell, he was thinking again wasn't he? Damn brain not letting him enjoy a spare second.

He woke up of that dream like moment just in time to catch a glimpse of some figures moving around him… some Jounins leaving the room he supposed , he thought that under the circumstances he was excused of remembering their names, after all… his whole undivided attention was in one particular man standing right in front of him. Did he dare to talk?

In a soft whisper his mouth draw the words.

-Why did you kiss me? - Oh fucking damn full of crap shit dimwitted head of his, he had to ruin the moment didn't he?

In return he received a very pretty although a bit annoying smile, what did it meant? Was he mocking him? What was all this about? –What…- But just before he could voice his thoughts out, his lips were enclosed by the Jounin's again, not that he would complain of course.

It wasn't a kiss like the last they had shared, it was merely a peck if you will… well two or three to be correct, but still, they all lacked the passion that the first kiss had been full of. But still he didn't do anything to avoid them, not that he thought he could command his body to move away, he actually thought he rather loved this kisses better, so gentle, so sweet. It was the intensity of the stares they were receiving that got them apart, all the eyes of shocked people stuck to the couple, not that that mattered anymore anyway. Now for Iruka there was only him; his mind racing and screaming for answers, and his also shocked face must have showed it because not too late Genma gave him an answer.

-You seemed sad- but that was all he got from the Jounin, and again that smile.

-Well you sure have a pretty funny way of cheering people up- wow; he said that and didn't even flinch once, alright, maybe he was a bit stuttery, but could you blame him? Perhaps he was getting better at hiding his emotions… if you don't take into account the breakdown of just a few minutes ago… Hell, and he was doing oh so better… He could do nothing but to laugh a little, his mind really was screw up… Did he laugh at loud? Crap crap crap! Did he notice?

-You should laugh more often you know? You have a pretty smile- alrighty, so he did.

What do you say to someone who just kissed you… no warnings no nothing, what do you say?

-…-

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity (for Iruka that is), he felt the sudden need of telling this man how much he had done for him, how much indeed he had needed a release, a way out for the frustration he had been feeling all this weeks, the sadness, all the hurt. What do you say to someone who helped you so much? Did he even know how much he had done for the Chuunin? maybe it was just a lucky coincidence… but, still he couldn't figure what to say.

-Ramen?-

Double crap… maybe he had been hanging around Naruto for way too long, all the same, he had say it and was now expecting what the other would respond.

Apparently he thought of it as quite funny cuz he started laughing, just a little, not hard enough to be insulting.

-Sure, why not- And so, Genma started walking towards the door, and seeing that the Chuunin wasn't following just yet he turned around and said –Well? Are you coming? - Iruka didn't remember to ever feel more embarrassed than he felt in that very moment. He still followed though.

-Thanks…- it was almost a whisper, and it was said as the Chuunin pass his companion through the door, it was equally important as if he had scream it though; and Genma felt it that way, it was his time to be embarrass now, a little blush crept it's way to his face for the faintest moment.

So what if he had gained some very dangerous Jounins as enemies? He could deal with that later.

Today promised to be a very good day.

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Well, I hope it isn't too disappointing

About the language: 1.for some reason when you curse in other languages it doesn't have the same effect as if you were cursing in your own language; does anyone else feels this way? Anyhow, I don't even know if the whole sequence is right, does cursing suppose to make sense?

2.I have no idea what those warning letters means... can't they put numbers so people like me can understand? discrimination I say! anyway, sorry if I crossed some boundaries I shouldn't have or whatever, I just don't know the rating letters meaning :D

oh and **for anonymous**, thanks for the birthday note! it was one of my greatest birthdays ever /wink,wink/

->Oh yes, I never thought of letting Kakashi kiss Iruka from the start I'm evil like that O.O


	4. Guy talk

**Chapter IV:**

"**Guy talk"**

**A.N: **Sorry for the spelling, but with god as my witness this year I won't miss the inaguration! to the tv I go. Enjoy!

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-Well... I really didn't see that one coming- said Asuma bringing a cigar to his mouth.

Bouth he and Gai had been waiting for Kakashi to wake up for a while now

-You can say that again- Gai was a bit shocked still. He was, after all, the one giving Kakashi confidence to finally talk with the chuunin.

-You're so going to pay for this- chuckled Asuma, reading his friends thoughts

-What? You were the one accepting the bets- said Gai nervously –If there's anyone here to blame that's definitely you… I hate that "thousand years of pain" crap- he said, while his eyes revealed something that could not be a pleasant memory.

Asuma laughed at his friend's obviously concerned features, but turned serious when his eyes met the body occupying the bed next to them.

-He isn't going to be ok, is he- he said, worry written all over his face.

-He will be… eventually- Gai tried to assured him –He's a strong man-

-Are you trying to convince me or yourself? - was the quick response followed by an awkward stare.

-A bit of both I guess-Gai finally said

The pair stayed in silence after that, minutes melting into nothing, words of a would be conversation never really leaving their mouths. Each of them thinking of things that weren't ready to be said yet.

-What will we do about Genma? - It was Asuma that finally broke the silence, a business like tone that he used while on missions.

-You'll do nothing- the voice of Kakashi startled both friends that still thought of him as sleep.

-Kakashi… I- started Gai. He, being the most talkative of them three, felt the need of explaining himself; but was quickly cut off by Kakashi.

-You know…- he began –You don't have to knock me unconscious every time you feel I'm going to do something stupid- there was an awkward silence after that statement -At this point I could blame all of my little eccentricities to your hitting, I must have brain damage by now- He tried to joke the tension away, but apparently Jounins have no sense of humour… or courtesy for that matter, at least he tried to release the tense aura that was filling the room.

-I'm sorry Kakashi, we didn't know- Gai mumbled, he looked truly embarrass so he didn't have the heart to voice his true opinion on that particular statement nor to show him where he thought he could put it in…

-It was an unfortunate coincidence really- good old Asuma, surely he felt like he should add something, even if it was just to make sure he had noticed him there. He had after all been standing on Kakashi's room for quite a while he assumed, side by side with Gai, all this time trying to figure out the best way of approaching the subject should they do so.

-Of course you didn't know…- oh, he really did thought he could look pass that –I mean… it's not like I've been asking you everyday of the damn last month if he had someone or not- he was trying to keep his anger at bait and his voice as sweet as possible… he was failing miserably.

-Now Kakashi, you can't blame us for that, these really was an unexpected occurrence- He finally made Asuma a little nervous, at least enough to make him feel like he needed to defend himself. He was standing now, his cigarette forgotten at the night table.

-You mean to tell me that just the second I was walking in; Iruka decided today was a perfect day to spread the love and so, he started with the nearest Jounin at sight of course and it just happened to be Genma uh? - His voice was getting louder and louder by the second, his visible eye now had an enraged expression, bordering on insanity –Answer me!-

-You know, this is exactly why we have to knock you out- In the fraction of a second Gai was behind Kakashi who had stand up from his previous position in bed and had been walking through the room making maniacal gesticulation to get his point across –You get too worked up over nothing-

-You just don't listen do you? – said Kakashi standing there, little tremors of anger making their way through his body, completely ignoring the latent possibility of a new unconsciousness state.

The tension was filling up the room, but just as Gai was going to take his fighting position, Kakashi's body stopped, and with it the necessity of an attack.

-I was just surprised… I'm sorry- were his words, a shamed look covering his normally cheerful eye.

_There is a moment in our lives_

The apologise hung between them, it was a broken pact after all

_When we decide what road to take_

None of them said a word though, they were ninjas and they were men. They acted on instinct.

_When we decide if quit and wonder_

The walls had fallen now, and they were free to be themselves… to be friends, once again.

_Or maybe stay, and suffer pain_

-He doesn't love Genma- this statement shocked his friends… just when they thought Kakashi would give up. Go figure.

Asuma and Gai shared an impossible defeated look, and both begun with impeccable timing the fits of resigned laughter.

-Ok Kakashi… so where does that leave us? - asked Asuma, ready for the beginning of a new stalking mission.

-That leaves you nowhere my friend- said Kakashi mockingly –I blame you both for my past failure- this of course wasn't taken so well by the two jounins

-What do you mean our fault? - Answer Gai defensibly –We did nothing but help you, you ungrateful bastard-

-Now now, I'm sure he doesn't mean that, let the man explain- calm him Asuma –now… what do you mean our fault? - He repeated angrily

-Calm down you two, all I'm saying is that everyone in this village knows of… lets call it… my little "road of love"- he remarked this with quotation marks gestures –Not that I mind I'm sure you know. But, while I was depressed and sulking, the enemy showed his annoying, hideous… senbon sucking face… and took what it's rightfully mine…- He spaced out for a moment and went back to his diatribe –And I do plan to take it back- he said seriously –But for now…- he began to push them towards the exit -all I really want to do is rest- he sighed –So guys, unless you don't mind me stripping in front of your innocent eyes, I would recommend you to depart… I sleep on the nude- and with that last statement he shut his apartment door at their noses.

_-I need sometime alone…-_

-Did you buy any of that? - asked Asuma once they found themselves on the street, serious tone in face.

-Hell no- said a worried Gai –but there's not much we can do now is there-

-Yeah, you're right…- said Asuma while looking for the last cigarette on his vest pockets -He just shut us out didn't he? – He gave up after founding none

-The bastard- Gai stared at the window, now with no lights, that he knew was Kakashi's apartment

And those were the last words the ninjas crossed that night, both returning to the characters they played on the village… both feeling the worry and the pain, both showing none.

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**Author's note:** I'm soooo sick! I really am, my whole city is! It's an epidemic, a horrible horrible epidemic… of flu, haha I know I know, but it is still a disease you know? A completely valid disease… I had this chapter ended for a while now and it was really frustrating not being able to upload it cough disease cough, I had it in papers and they didn't allow me to go to the computer or "it" coming to me either. Yeah, the joys of resting.

Anyways… who will win the world cup? Yey, it's finally here, I love my fútbol : D anyone else does? Nope? Just me then… hurray… wish my country was there though… damn losers… (By definition they are sniff sniff)

Hmmm… should I've been talking about the chapter? Oops, sorry for the delay really and really sorry for its shortness, but it's actually that I wrote it a bit larger than this so I cut it in two muahahaha, but that's a good thing, cuz I'll be updating the other one soon, you see? It's a win win situation, who loves me: D

Next chapter: Iruka's date ; )


	5. First Date

**Chapter V:**

**First date**

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_-Ramen?-_

And so they were here now, staring at each other, nothing to say coming at hand. He had asked himself over and over again how he had ended up in this situation.

Sure… he was sad, and sure, he was confused… and he did just have a breakdown in front of all of his colleagues; then again… he also made out with one of say colleagues in front of all the others… alrighty. He was a screwed up man.

But now all of those questions could wait, he was dying here! They had been sitting across each other for a good ten minutes already and none of his cell brains would come to help, he had forgotten completely how to interact with another human been! What really mattered now was to start a conversation, ANY conversation.

-Say something damn it- he recriminated himself, and looked up to see an amused face

-Ok… I will, what would you like me to talk about? I guess there's always the weather thing…- said Genma with a flick of mockery showing in his voice

Oh fuck… had he said that at loud? He seemed to do that a lot lately

-Sorry… that was supposed to stay in my head- great; he was beginning to blush now

-I thought as much- smiled Genma, he sure liked to make this Chuunin turn red, but as much as he was willing to try new ways for this to happen, he decided he had something important to ask. There was a thing he wanted to take out of the way, even if it was only for curiosity's sake –Why did you kiss me back? – His amused face turned serious

-What…?-

–I mean… I didn't know you liked men- ok, maybe that was him trying to make the teacher blush, and boy was it working.

-…- Iruka was sure he hadn't been this red since the Naruto accident

-Well…- where was all his teacher knowledge and eloquence when he needed it? …alright maybe he didn't have those to begin with, but god he could use them now –I guess I never really thought about it- was he gay? He did like women, but taking a glimpse at his partner he thought _But I like you too_ which of course added to his currently growing redness.

_-Get a hold of yourself Iruka! -_ He mentally screamed

-I… I guess love knows no gender- it felt like the world had stop for him, even as the words were coming out of his mouth. It was like watching a slow motion crashing accident. Did he just say "love"? Crap… he really needed to think things before he voiced them out.

Ever so slowly he raised his head, what would Genma think of him now? And of course, he looked shock.

-I mean…- he rushed the words, he had to fix this –it's not like I love you or anything- he laugh nervously shaking both his head and hands

Silence… did he make it worst? To his surprise Genma looked… disappointed?

Oh shit…

-Not like I couldn't love you of course! – What could he possibly say now? –I don't think you're disgusting or anything… not that I care about those things…- he said while signalling his own scarred face –looks are only superficial really, and… and we all get old at the end, so, I won't mind when that happens either… of course I'm not saying that we'll grow old together, but we'll probably see each other around, that's for sure…- why wasn't Genma answering? He could at least be gracious enough to take a kunai out and put him out of his misery -although being a ninja village we probably won't be… seeing each other that is… yep… definitely death by forty, so no worries there… yeah…- Did he just proclaim them both death? – Not that I don't trust in your skills… or want you death by that matter…- He was a sorry excuse of a man, really, the poor Chuunin was a nervous wrack, and now that he realized that he had found a way of insulting his partner in every possible and imaginable from he decided to just sulk in his misery and shut the hell up… or not –We could die though… and that's the whole… oh god have you no compassion? Please stop me… now! …alright I realize I could have done that myself… shutting up that is… ugh…- Iruka was now completely ashamed and had his face trapped under his hands, preventing them from showing to the world how embarrassed he felt.

Again the silence… and then, Genma broke laughing

Iruka wanted the earth to open and swallow him whole.

-Are you always like this? – said Genma while washing a tear away

-There's no need for you to mock me you know? - said Iruka resembling terribly one of his students when pouting.

-Oh no… you misunderstand it- Genma was once again with that smile –I like it… I like you-

Iruka was of course at a loss of words, thankfully, the heavens seemed to have had enough of his humiliation and graciously allowed him a moment of peace, because at that moment the food arrived. Finally something he could comment on, a topic he could not get tired of debating… bless Ramen.

They ate quietly, the conversation always finding its way home to the delicious delicatessen; they were at last getting along just fine.

Genma insisted on paying the bill, he owed it to him to at least do that, since Iruka had provided the entertainment, statement that was received with a furious blush.

Then Genma wanted to join him on his way back home, which only added for his stress; but when Genma's hand found its way to Iruka's, the poor chuunin thought he would be victim of internal combustion, which was a completely valid fear once you looked at his burning face.

Half the way there, Iruka finally felt rested. He was comfortable now, even making Genma laugh once in a while… although in a completely unintentional way that is. But by the time they reached his home he was proud to say that they had at least shared one civil conversation, which put Iruka at ease. He could do this!

They were at his door now, and before he realized it, he was leaning into Genma, and had a warm feeling as their lips met, it was a candid kiss, but still very powerful, sending those now recognizable pleasant shivers all over his body… and… did he initiated this? A bit surprised still, he broke the closeness and just when he was about to say his goodbyes and enter his home he remembered… Genma was a jounin… he would surely now why were those other Jounins treating him so badly right?

-There was something I wanted to know- and he cursed himself for sounding a little spaced out… damn after kissing effects –Do you happen to know why were the Jounins behaving a little… different… around me? I mean… maybe it was all in my head, I- but he was cut off by one of Genma's quick pecks

-Do you really want to know? - He asked while still showering him with slow sensual kisses –Does it matter? - He stopped a second to see his partner's eyes

-I… I guess not… it just stroke me as bizarre- again… damn effects

At hearing this, Genma smiled, slowly kissed Iruka one last time before stepping out of his porch.

-It's really stupid actually- Genma was facing Iruka, walking backwards with his hands behind his head –Kakashi likes you- and just like that he went away

-Yeah stupid- he walked inside his home and was heading to the kitchen when it hit him -Kak… Kakashi likes me?-

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A.N: m'kay bit of a crappy chapter, sorry for that, since I finished it, along with the other one, I haven't take a look at it again. Sorry. Mexico won! I love Mexicans, I also like to live through them, maybe next time we'll get there… damn… I'm lying to myself, it'll never happen… sniff sniff… ok I've shed enough tears for those bastards

Thanks for all the kind reviews, sorry if I didn't answer them myself, but I'm almost every hour of my day at classes.


	6. Of Hope

**Chapter VI:**

**Of hope**

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What he had told Asuma and Gai was true. He still wanted to pursue Iruka. What was far from reality however was the optimism he had shown. He suspected they hadn't believe him though, but that was ok, he knew his friends, and knew they would understand… hell, they even understand him better than he did most of the time, and he really didn't need a shoulder to cry at that moment, all he really wanted to do was to heel his destroyed pride and nurse his broken spirit, and so, he needed to be alone.

A couple of hours later and Kakashi could be seen, still sitting on the same spot he had been since he made his friends go away, still sitting on the floor, his back against the bed, staring into space, not a single clear thought going through his head, his body still unable of showing his true emotions, he was numb, exhausted.

The whole day had been a horrible draining experience. He couldn't believe he had waked up to a bright sky that morning; he couldn't even remember having one in his entire life for that matter. He could not remember that so called happiness he had experienced, not today, not ever. The moment of clearness, the foolish trust he had felt were nothing more than a memory, a mockery to his current state.

He had been stupid and he now knew it, the whole pathetic display of joy was now a bitter reminder of that photo like moment.

If Kakashi was to respond what did he remember of the time he spend in the mission room that afternoon, he would say nothing, a big black nothing… a void. But truth was, that the image of Genma kissing his chuunin would never leave his memory again, the moment was like a picture, he didn't remember sounds nor smells, not even the sensations they produced in him. Just a picture, void of life and texture… plain but at the same time, inexplicably terrible.

In just a second, his merry world had changed… it was true he had never really expected his feelings to be returned; but that certainty in theory was nothing compared to the actual pain that reality threw at him. He could have never measured the hurt he would suffer. Just as he couldn't understand why his heart was so obstinate, why his very soul would leave him, if he could just by that offer, receive the faintest show of affection from the teacher… the faintest smile.

He did not understand love, but he certainly did understand pain. He had suffered it all through his life; he did also understand loss, mostly because he had always related one and the other, like two lovers melting in each other embrace. But this pain… this pain he hated. When he lost someone, he could always say goodbye and be done with it. He would miss them of course, but the thought that he could never see them again, and the finality of it all, gave him a bizarre tranquillity. But… how can anyone explain the pain that produces to be near someone, but still so far away. To know you can almost touch them, but still have to let them go. To see them happy and know you had nothing to do with it. To see them love someone, and know he isn't you. How can anyone explain how much be near someone can hurt.

Kakashi was numb; he had a lot of questions going madly against each other, fighting to be answered. He would blame, at some point, his terrible luck, just to be minutes later directing his anger at the couple… a couple… were they really an item? Could they really be? Could Iruka do that to him?

He had revised all the facts over and over again. He would say to himself sometimes, that it was impossible for Iruka to have gained such closeness with anyone without him noticing. He had, after all, been watching him all this time.

Could Iruka be so discreet? And if his intentions were indeed to hide it, why kiss Genma in front of everyone all of the sudden? Why kiss Genma in front of him? But that wasn't truth either, Iruka didn't know Kakashi was there… watching… hurting… Iruka didn't care either. That at least he knew. He didn't know if Iruka had any knowledge of him lurking around or loving him, but he sure knew Iruka didn't care…

Why would he really? Kakashi hadn't been anything but a pain in the ass for the poor chuunin, but the question was still there… Did Iruka really was that oblivious? Could he really not see? Didn't he see him that morning? But he wouldn't go there, not anymore, he had been sulking for the entire last month asking himself that, and look where that got him… treating Iruka badly, making himself miserable, allowing… allowing _that_ to happen.

That… what was _that_? It seemed to Kakashi that that was the most important and urgent question to be answered right now; never mind if he saw him or not that morning, who cared if Iruka didn't like him now… that would change… he would make sure of that.

Hope sure is a disgusting little bugger, the world would be such a better place if only people could resigned to their fates some more, instead of clutching the last, faintest straw of hope they had at hand and choose to suffer rather than let go.

Iruka didn't love Genma, that was his hope, his solely motivation to keep wondering and going back to that moment; that kiss… What could it possibly mean? And then it hit him, there's only three reasons why someone would do such a public display of affection… at least he hoped.

One, at a very mushy declaration of love, which he hoped wasn't the scenario, and he could almost be sure of it, wouldn't Asuma or Gai say something? They would definitely tell him if that was the case.

The second reason is, if someone made such a terrible mistake that needed to be outdone by a very public and embarrassing not to mention humiliating apology; but that couldn't be of course, they had no time to develop a proper relationship, needless to say, they didn't have the time to screw it up either.

So then they had the third one… that bastard… the most despicable reason to do such a thing… jealousy, or better yet… to make someone jealous… and of course, he remembered now… wasn't Genma supposed to be with Raidou? Weren't they together? Last he knew, they were… oh, he was so going to kick his revolving face till the last remaining of that disgusting smirk was forever erased from it… he was going to kill that bastard.

Kakashi then stood, as quickly as humanly possible, and run to his apartment door, but then, just as he was about to turn the handle, he thought… what if Iruka is the one trying to make someone else jealous? Could that be? He never even disturbed himself with the possibility of hoping that it might be him, there was logic against that… and sadly, reality could back that up too. But at the mere thought of Iruka, all of Kakashi's killing instincts flew away… could another person possessed Iruka's love? This was getting so freaking complicated, he was rubbing his head in frustration now, and then a light came, if, as he thought and hoped, Genma was the one using his teacher, then the object at which was directed that action, would definitely need to be there… Genma was after all, quite the direct person, he wouldn't have planned that skim, he would rush into things as always; Kakashi hadn't been his captain for so long without getting to know him. So now, all of his hopes were based on that little question… was Raidou there?

He, being the unreasonable and rushed person he was when things involved Iruka, found himself on the cold street without even realizing nor caring that it was three in the morning, and no one, not even his friends, would be awake now. But the thought didn't even cross his head, he was now deciding which house he should head to… what path to take; Asuma was quickly discarded, he didn't need to be scarred for the rest of his life with images of Asuma and Kurenai holding each other, and like hell he wouldn't knock either, so the only choice he had was…

-Was Raidou there? – Kakashi had transported himself straight into the very room Gai was sleeping in, when he received no answer, he proceeded to shake the motionless body as quick and strongly as he could.

-Fuck Kakashi! I'm sleeping! – was all Gai grumbled, finally deciding to stop playing sleep, after all, what kind of ninja would he be, if he hadn't acknowledge his friend's presence?

-Was Raidou there? – Kakashi insisted, still grabbing Gai by his shoulders.

-Let go of me! – He pushed him away, but looking to the seriousness in Kakashi's eyes, he asked –Why is it important? – He rubbed his eyes, trying to look sleepy still, trying to buy some time.

-You very well know why, come on Gai, put two and two together! – Kakashi said exasperated, throwing his hands to the air.

-Firstly…- He looked at Kakashi –don't mock my math- he said with a smile, but then frowned –and secondly…- he had a serious face –I know what you're thinking, and that's a foolish thing to hold on to- but watching Kakashi's despair, after a moment he added with a sigh –Raidou was there-

Kakashi felt that the weight in his heart began to lift, and his face was bright with renew hope.

-Don't be such an arsehole- Gai fake disgust –the shining and hopeful eyes are _my_ trade mark, now go and whip that out of your face, before I do it myself.

-Sure sunshine, I'll let you have your beauty sleep- said Kakashi with a smirk

Gai threw a shuriken at him, but it flew right through the image of a waving Kakashi, and before realizing he had done the seals, his friend was gone.

After all, Kakashi had some planning to do.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**Author's note:** did I take long? I think I'm actually doing a very good job at updating don't you think?

I've been trying to answer the reviews but fanfiction sometimes gets slow, and even after I send them, a page appears saying (to me at least) that they might not been send, so.

Thanks to the people that reviewed!

I'm a bit disappointed that CuriousDreamWeaver didn't leave a review last chapter, so this ranting is for you: you don't break a chain like ours just because! Haha sorry, but you basically represent the fifth part of my population of readers so… and I'm a bit of a cabalistic girl here : D I liked all of your reviews before, and thank you for reading my "work", so even if you get scared of me and decide to leave me forever, I thanked you.

Paraguay didn't get the points needed to pass… I felt so sorry for them, and you are right Snow887, even if I do love Brazilians(they, along with Mexicans, are at the top of my list of favourite people), well, I think they should "pass the torch" and let someone else feel the glory T o T . Who do you think should win?

And just because I feel that story was my best / wink / I'm recommending it to you. I felt sort of let down that not many people leaved me a review, so I'm sending you to read it again!

Read: Left behind! kakaIru too

Oh oh, before I forget, thanks to ERM who gave me the idea to include Raidou, so if there's anyone to blame for that… you know who to look for people! and Xelloss100 I'll do KakashiIruka soon! and now that I think of it... they haven't talk yet have they? oh wait, the incident...


	7. Pride

**Chapter VII:**

**Pride**

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I do not own anything... and... Yey! the longest chapter yet! sorry for how late I updated though... oh, also sorry for gramatical mistakes, too tired to care.

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He stared for a while; words he wished to speak choking him.

Ever so slowly his eyes begun to close, maybe… if only…

-I love you… I-

He let the air held in his lungs finally leave. Kakashi was trembling; cold drops of sweat forming on his forehead. Why was it so difficult? With a resigned sigh he dropped his head, not daring to look at the man in front of him, finally, after silence filled the room his head raised, and he discovered mismatched eyes staring back.

…a mirror… he couldn't even do it in front of a mirror…

A week had passed since the unpleasant incident… which he rather remained forgotten. A week and he couldn't even form the words that could express his feelings… seven days and he hadn't seen him.

At this point, he had left behind all sort of weird and crazy plans… Genma was still there, no matter how much he detest it; Raidou might have help him, but when all things came to and end, all he could really do was to confess… and when came to that conclusion, all he tried was for his little speech to be perfect.

How many times have he recited his impossible big love and eternal adoration in words that, if anything, seemed only to annoy his audience… reason why he was alone now… Gai was rather impatient when things didn't concern him and Asuma, well, Asuma was just an inconsiderate bastard, honestly, after years of friendship one would think he could at least lend an understanding ear… of course, he was willing to admit that Asuma trying to chop his ears out and leave them at his house with a rough 'there' was a bit funny and uplifting.

Kakashi laughed at his last thought, his friends were really something; he looked at his reflection once more and decided this couldn't help him… at least not today, he turned his back on the mirror and walked out of the bathroom turning the lights off, crossed the space on his apartment that would be called a living room except that it lacked everything a living room should have and ended his tour at the bedroom, it was late at night after all… he sighed loudly and let himself fall on the bed, he remained still a few seconds then adjusted his position to look at his ceiling making a pillow of his entwined hands, an image appearing on the white void, nothing new there.

Kakashi didn't like to think he was a masochist, as his friends had put it. He couldn't fathom the idea of anyone rejoicing on the pain of loving someone… well, the pain of not being love back more accurately. He had to admit he had fall on a never ending cycle of self-pity and anger, anger at himself that is. He considered himself a coward because he couldn't even look straight at Iruka's eyes when he was near without bathing him in loath… love, for him, was a completely foreign sentiment and as such, he was completely unable to express it, so instead of trying to make Iruka love him back, all he did was blame him for not loving him already.

Tonight Iruka was smiling at him… the image on his ceiling… was smiling at him, and suddenly all he wanted was for that to happen in real life.

Without giving it much thought, Kakashi got up from his bed, quickly put something on so people that might cross his path would not be scandalized and run to his house… run to him.

x.x.x.x

A week passed since that fateful day. Iruka was almost used to if not yet too comfortable with the whole situation, everyday when he least expected it a memory would cross his head… the stares, the tears, the kiss… Everything happened so quickly, but he had at least regained his mornings and routines, and if for nothing else, he was grateful to Genma for it.

When he learned the reason why the Jounins were treating him that way, he fell into denial… Kakashi? It was rather ridiculous for Genma to even suggest such a thing… wasn't it?

He hadn't seen the jounin for the whole week, which made it more difficult and added to the stress of actually seeing him at some point; the first few days he was always watching his back, somehow thinking that perhaps said jounin would make an appearance when he least expected it, but as days flew by and fears were unconfirmed, he decided to let go of those childish impulses, after all, it isn't a nice view to watch a respectable teacher jumping every now and then at some mysterious shadows. And much to his surprise, he let go of his (dare he say it) hopes of seeing Kakashi; he was with Genma now, he reminded himself from time to time, which was a ratter weird thing to say out loud, and even weirder to explain to those who've listened.

But Iruka was happy. A week was all it took for his world to come back to normal, and he really did like Genma… he did. Every once in a while he wondered though, why was it that Genma told him of Kakashi. He liked to muse on the fact that if the situation was inverse he would have done the same, because that's the right path to follow… and it really was admirable of Genma to be that honest right?

But he kept wondering.

Genma was, to be completely honest, quite a good man… a dependable man. He woke at dawn and loved to watch the sun rising… Iruka was a faithful witness of that, he after all have been drag to those outings. Genma embraced life in everything he did… he would never surrender to such a pitiful act as it was that of betraying a fellow jounin, not that Iruka would ever see that confession as a betrayal… he did ask after all, all Genma did was to answer. But those few lines at the end of that day would always come back and bother him.

It was getting late; he was still at the academy. A few hours earlier he had dismissed Genma who tried to join him at qualifying his pupil's essays, watching the chuunin and all the work he still had ahead though, he offered to do his work at the mission assignment room before he went away, and so he was here now… alone. The walls were tainted red; the sun was going away rather quickly if he had to say so. But then again, everything seemed to be going rather quickly for the last few days.

He didn't even notice when the night became morning, he woke at the sight of a very amused concierge cleaning the kid's desks.

-You work too hard- he said –You should head home and get some proper sleep- he pointed at Iruka's obviously sad image.

Iruka didn't think of it twice, he smiled weakly and proceeded to slowly pick his things up, since they'd fallen to the floor at some point in the night and although useless, he tried to straighten up his wrinkled clothes, then he went for the classroom door still asking himself why did he picked that of all days to correct the exams in the classroom instead of the normal professor's room, at least there, he would have someone to tell him to go before he fell sleep… or, at the worst scenario he stood a chance of a getting a better sleep than he did here, and then it hit him, the kids would be here anytime now.

His worries must have crept their way to his face because before he could even pronounce them, the gentle concierge told him –Today is Saturday son, don't worry- he smiled a little too knowingly for Iruka's taste, but he let it pass… at least he could rest at home now.

When he was out of the old building, a thought came to bother him, why didn't Genma say anything? He could have saved him a very uncomfortable night and a rather embarrassing awakening. Oh but he had come to know the jounin's sense of humour, god… sometimes he was annoying…

He spent the rest of the time his walking was taking him by imagining all types of scenarios were said jounin suffered terrible deaths. Those thoughts, unsurprisingly, distracted him of everything happening on his surroundings, so, by the time he made it to his porche he was completely oblivious to a figure sitting there, which of course made him jump when he finally noticed and realized who it was.

What could Kakashi possibly want at this time of the day not to mention with him?

And a blush crept to his face, could what Genma said be true then?

-Um… this is my house…- the young chuunin really had a talent at establishing the obvious –I mean… What are you doing here? - He tried to save the little dignity he had left, all of the sudden too conscious of the state of his clothes and what it might look like to anyone with a brain… and at the mere thought of what noticeable pervert Kakashi would think of him returning to his house at this hour and at that state, he couldn't help but blush even harder.

But then a thought occurred to him –God… is Naruto ok? Has something happen to him? - Every trace of previous embarrassment was forgotten, worry was beginning to fill his heart, and apparently the Jounin took pity of him, because finally after a long time of staring he said –Naruto is ok… don't worry- and with a final look full of something Iruka couldn't totally comprehend he began to walk away.

-Now wait a minute- Iruka didn't know what could have possible possessed him to grab Kakashi's arm –You came here for something, what is it?- he might as well just took his chance at asking… he was feeling brave, and… it was probably just curiosity.

-Naruto is fine- Kakashi couldn't help but to be a little harsh at answering, and turning himself to face the chuunin he said –and you obviously are too- and with that he yanked his arm away from Iruka's touch.

-And what's that supposed to mean? - Iruka asked, preparing himself for an answer he wasn't sure he really wanted to hear.

Kakashi looked intently at Iruka, making a point on stopping at every wrinkled spot the teacher's clothes displayed, a perfect eyebrow lift while doing so, the perfect look of disdain and arrogance, he wanted to make Iruka feel uncomfortable, he wanted Iruka to feel despised.

-Do I really have to clarify? - Kakashi was mocking him now, even without him being able to see behind that mask, he knew the man was smirking.

-And what the hell do you care what I do or not in my spare time? Last time I checked we weren't even friends- Iruka couldn't help but feel attacked, what was it with Kakashi today?

-ooh, aren't we a little touchy? Or is it the lack of sleep? …sensei- he pronounced the last word in a weird sensual way that made Iruka's insides flip, he had gotten so close… when have he got so close? And yet, everything that came from Kakashi's lips made the poor chuunin feel bad… filthy.

Taking a step backwards, Iruka admitted defeat and by doing so he made Kakashi smile, a smile followed by a mirthless laugh which startled the chuunin… what was wrong with the jounin? … Was this all a mental game he decided to include Iruka in?

-I'm sorry but I'm just too tired for this… - Iruka was genuinely getting scared, it was quite early in the morning and he doubted the joggers would pass for another hour still.

-I was just wondering…- Kakashi's voice held a malicious wave -Why not your bed? I mean… you obviously don't like his, so why don't just come here and save the travel? For curiosity's sake… sensei- for a moment Iruka thought he heard Kakashi's voice tremble, but he dismissed the idea rather quickly, he was more concentrated on ways of escaping a potentially dangerous Jounin.

Apparently Kakashi understood how frightened he had gotten the Chuunin, and even though all he wanted at that moment was to hurt someone… something… he decided to stop.

-Look…- it took all of Kakashi's willpower to break the silence –I was just passing by, I didn't even know this was your house- lying became increasingly easy as he talked –I honestly don't care what you do… or who you do- he allowed himself to smirk, making Iruka feel uncomfortable again –I do not care about you or this little outings… I just happened to sit on this porch- Kakashi had talked very eloquently and he didn't even think twice about the words escaping his mouth, all he wanted was for this torture to be over… for everything to be over, maybe he could at least leave with his pride intact.

-oh… I… I'm sorry, I didn't know- why was he excusing himself? It was Kakashi who had been rude to him, not the other way around –I… I guess I'll be entering now- why would Kakashi care for anything he did anyway? This thought disturbed him particularly, wasn't it enough for him that he was going to come out of this one alive? –Well… bye then- he turned his back to the copy nin, entering his house.

Once he found himself in the protective barrier that was his house, he discovered he could finally breathe, and much to his horror, he realized he wanted to be out there again, there were some things that Kakashi needed to explain to him first, he couldn't just let him leave like that… so, with athat resolution on his mind he reopenedthe door, only to find himself standing alone on the porch, not a sign of anyone near… not a sign of the person who only seconds ago stood there… and his heart ached… but he didn't mind it, minding it would mean he cared, andhe did not care for one Hatake Kakashi just as he didn't care for him.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**Author's note:** so? I'm so sorry I took so long! Really! Is not like I was taking hostage this fic or anything… although you did leave two miserable reviews last time… author gives you the evil eye! Haha just kidding, I really did appreciate the reviews you left me, I think I did answer them, but I'm not too sure, It was quite a while ago. If I didn't before I'm doing it now: thanks people!

Anyway, I didn't update this before cuz I went backpacking! Go me! I actually wrote part of this fic in Sacsayhuaman(I think that's how it's supposed to be written) you know… Incas… haha love that place, unbelievable energy! You should all go… although you probably want to go with someone haha, it is definitely weird to travel by yourself!

**Propaganda:** I did also another fic(about Gai and a mannequin heh heh) go and read it it's call papiermâché, only 20 people have read it, so... poor thing, it's feeling lonely.

Other news… lets see… oh! Italy won! Italy won! I love my Italians, but I also love France(I actually just know a girl there, but she's cool), anyway, I definitely love my Zizou, don't care what anyone says, don't listen boys, Zizou is the greatest!

Oh and about the story… well I think I've written a lot on the author's notes so I'll leave it there.


	8. Over dangos

**Chapter VIII:**

"**Over dangos"**

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-So… – Asuma looked indifferently at his friend

-So? So! Is that really all you can come up with! - Gai stood up hitting the table with his hands, but seeing his friend's unmoving face he opted to finally sit down again and address his anger to the still warm dangos waiting in the table to be eaten.

-Now now, that can't be healthy- Asuma looked more disgusted than worried, but at least he finally seemed to be paying attention now –Besides… people have ears you know, do you really think it wise to be discussing this here?-

The two ninjas looked at each other for a moment before finally sighing.

-Alright… so everybody knows- the dark man rolled his eyes –But what about it, do you want to give them more reasons to talk? - He raised his eyebrow and put a new cigarette in his mouth.

Gai seemed to contemplate his friend's words for a while –Whatever…- he sighed –It's just that I cannot believe Iruka is banging Genma you know… he just doesn't seem the type- he spaced off for a minute and then shook his head.

-You are so vulgar…- Asuma laughed –And just because you're not getting any doesn't mean we other fellows can't.

-Rub it in why don't you- Gai looked at his friend with loathe –And could you explain to me, just why is it that we always end up talking about your sex life? – And in a stroke of brilliancy he added –I bet Kurenai wouldn't like it one bit would she… I mean… were she to find out of course…- He said while pretending to clean his nails enjoying every second of his now increasingly white and sweaty friend's face.

-You wouldn't…- Asuma gulped.

-Wouldn't I? - Gai stared maliciously at him, his nails forgotten.

-GAI SENSEEEEEIIII!- An enormous cloud of dust was approaching them fast –GAI SENSEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIII!-

The two adults stared at the talking mass and saw how it rapidly transformed on the figure they knew so well, Gai blinked a couple of times before stopping his pupil's run with a powerful (and what looked to be a very painful) punch on the face.

The time stopped of course, as it always happen when everyone is staring at the same thing, but soon everyone returned to their own business as if nothing had happen on the first place… don't they always?

-Gai sensei? – was all Lee could mumble from the floor considering the hit he'd just received.

-Lee! What have I told you about running around like that!- Asuma stared after his friend, he was now in all "Konoha green beast" mode, standing firmly with his hands on the waist -_peter pan wannabe_- he mused while putting another cigarette on his lips, he had left the other one fall from them when the kid arrived.

-I'M SORRY GAI SENSEI! - Lee had gotten on his knees rather quickly, a pleading look haunting his eyes.

-_This kid sure likes drama_- Asuma thought, breathing out the smoke from his lungs

-DON'T BE LEE! YOU MUST TREASURE THE BEAUTIFULNESS OF YOUTH'S ENERGY FOR IT MAY COME THE DAY WHEN YOU NO LONGER HOLD IT! - were Gai's inspired words, all the while looking regretfully at the horizon.

-DON'T SAY THAT SENSEI! - Lee who was on the verge of tears, misunderstood his teacher–YOU'RE STILL SO YOUNG!-

At his words, Gai froze and his eye began to twitch and Asuma that up till that point had gone unnoticed by Lee was now choking. The young genin, who could not fathom his doing on both teachers state, simply stared.

-Gai sen…- Lee started after a moment, fearing he might have done something wrong

-But you came here for something Lee! - Was Gai's attempt to regain composure –What is it!- He said enthusiastically showing his big bright smile.

Lee stared at his teacher and smiling back he said –Naruto was looking for you sir! I thought it was my duty to help him find you! – He stood impossible straight and determined.

-OH LEE! ONCE AGAIN YOU'D SHOWN ME YOU ARE THE PERFECT STUDENT! NOW GO AND FIND THAT FRIEND OF YOURS LEE! - Gai had watery eyes and was looking at Lee proudly

-Gai sensei…- Lee's lips were trembling but soon he got it together and nodding he began his race again, this time returning for the path he had first come from.

-GO LEE GO! - screamed Gai waving his hands away while looking at his precious pupil go.

Gai was still staring at the path his student had taken when Asuma interrupted his thoughts –So you're old uh? - He smirked

Looking at his friend Gai sighed –That went right up my arse didn't it? – He looked somewhat tired and took the sit he was on before –So… what were we talking about? –Gai said calling the waitress and asking for some more dangos since they had no left.

-Lets see… we were talking about how you were getting all old and wrinkled and that you needed someone to for lack of better words "bang", honestly man, this train of yours has way passed the station, and let me tell you this diet you are trying now- He signalled the dangos the little lady has gotten them, breathed in some more of his beloved cigarette and continued- will not do anything for you either- He smiled widely.

-Smart ass- Gai said putting yet another dango in his mouth, munching angrily –Doesn't matter though…- He smiled back at his friend, getting another bite from his food.

-…-

-…-

-Oh… my... God- Asuma put his cigarette down and stared at his friend with wide eyes –You have someone! - Gai didn't pay him attention, just sat there, eating happily and enjoying his friend's dropped jaw –You have someone don't you? You bastard! Why didn't you tell me? Who is it? - Asuma was anxiously waiting for him to respond, smiling like a kid before Christmas.

Gai was pretending coolness of course–Alright…- he finally said, with the same tone one uses when giving in to some kid's demands –I will not tell you how but-

-Is it a girl? It's one of the guys at the bar we went last night isn't it? No wait, is it a chuunin? - Asuma interrupted –The jounins you requested to join you in next week assignment aren't they? Ohhh… a threesome… kinky- Asuma was in his own little world now, smiling like an idiot.

-m'kay…- was all Gai could say –Do you realize how much unneeded not to say unwanted information you just gave me? – He stared at his friend –Besides, you can come down from you cloud now, all I did was… lets say… a favour- he nodded –yes, a favour-

-A favour? – Asuma asked confused –Who could have asked you for a "favour" now- He rolled his eyes a bit angered at being pushed back to reality, bringing a dango into his mouth absentmindedly

-I did it for Kakashi really, he w…-

-WHAT! – Asuma fall out from his chair and began choking for the second time that day –YOU FUCKED KAKASHI!- His eyes were a funny sight to see, almost popping out of his head; he quickly got up from the floor though, sitting down even quicker and coming closer to Gai, as to not draw anymore attention –You fucked Kakashi!- He scream-whispered.

-God no! - Gai pulled a disgusted face –how could you… how do you… God! no! – He shivered.

Asuma was still looking at him, not quite sure if he was telling the truth yet –Well… you do, you know… swing for both teams, how am I to believe you didn't… and Kakashi was…- Asuma looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

-Swing for both teams, god… you're such a child- Gai laughed –No, all I did as I said, let me remind you, was doing someone a favour, I was trying to help Kakashi and well… I guess the sex part was really more for me…- He spaced off

Asuma was looking at Gai with wider and wider eyes by the second so said friend could not help but to break on laughing.

-You're such an arse! – Asuma pouted

After a few minutes with Gai laughing and Asuma's stares the silence was finally broken.

-So… if it wasn't Kakashi, then, who did you get laid with? – Asuma was frowning –and how exactly did that help our sulking friend-

-Well I'm very glad you finally asked me Sarutobi- Gai smirked

-And I'll be even gladder if you cut the crap and answer me Maito- Asuma said getting annoyed

-Jeez, you have no patience do you? – Gai faked annoyance too –anyway, remember how Kakashi wouldn't go and ask Raidou about Genma? – Gai waited a few seconds so his friend would catch up.

-O… Oh- Asuma finally seemed to understand –getting answers and still managing to share the love uh? - Asuma did a small bow –I bow to you sir-

-Thank you lad, but what can I say… I have a generous soul, I do- smirked Gai playing along.

-So? What did you discover? – Asuma got serious all of the sudden –Is Genma playing with our Chuunin? –

-Well… I wouldn't be too sure, Raidou and him were together up to the week before Genma kissed Iruka, some petty fight Raidou told me- Gai added seeing his friend's confused face –But until he saw them kissed he never suspected once he was being cheated so…-

-So you think Genma did it to get Raidou jealous don't you? – Asuma filled in

-Well that's the thing… I don't really know, He got Raidou jealous alright, but then, if that was all he wanted, why stay with Iruka still? – Gai and Asuma stayed quiet for a while, both of them thinking.

-So… you think Genma got attached to Iruka _after_ the kiss- Asuma said slowly –Am I right? –

-Yes, that's what the evidences show anyway- Gai looked contemplative and Asuma felt like disrupting him of course.

-And you made sweet love to dear Raidou because…- he moved his hands towards Gai for him to fill in the information required.

Gai laughed –Well. The poor thing was feeling lonely and who am I to say no when a friend needs help? –

Asuma looked at him suspiciously and said –well, remind me to never go to you in times of need then- he wrinkled his nose in disgust.

At that gesture Gai could not help but laugh harder.

-Think about it my friend, two people can play that game, Raidou was just trying to make Genma jealous, and that too can work at our advantage, them getting together and happy, Kakashi going to his beloved chuunin's help as the chivalrous gentlemen we know him to be and we finally getting to do something else than Kakashi's errands for once, not that I care mind you- Gai smiled at the frown his friend was giving him.

-Well look who got brains all of the sudden- Asuma continued eying his friend

-Sex does that to people- Gai smiled proudly

-You do realize that if you are correct then you were the one played right? –Asuma's face brighten up

-Say whatever you want my friend- Gai laughed –I got laid- he said in a sing song voice.

-Whatever…- Asuma rolled his eyes for what seemed to be the umpteenth time that morning–But there's a minor detail that annoys me on this plan of yours- he took a moment to look at Gai –How do you exactly think Genma will find out 'bout you two? Cuz I honestly don't think Raidou coming up to him and telling him what you did would work, he might think he was just bluffing you know? And besides, one thing is to kiss someone and another completely different is to have sex with them, do you think Genma will forgive him? –Asuma was a little worried about the outcome of the whole plotting idea; they after all, could not know how strongly Genma would react after hearing the news.

-You're forgetting my friend, that I am as near as invincible as you will ever meet- he mocked Asuma's worries away, reading correctly his concerned face –Besides, as I told you before, Genma is going at it with the teacher so…-

-You're not sure of that- Asuma cut in –On what grounds do you base that affirmation?–

-Well… Kakashi told me- Gai answered as if that statement would end all controversies.

-Is that it? Kakashi told you? And how does he know? - Asuma could not believe the academy sensei would be with Genma so quickly, after all, they had come up with the conclusion that they hadn't been together for long, had they not? –Never mind, even if they are, there's still the little problem of finding out don't you think?-

-Oh but you see, that's the least of our problems really- He mocked his friend again, waiting for the notion to hit him.

-Oh… you're not saying what I think you are… are you? - Asuma's naturally tan face began to redden, he had at least the decency to blush Gai mused

-come on, I know you were counting the seconds to go and tell your precious Kurenai what we just talked- Gai laughed –You should really see your face! –

-That's a completely out of place commentary for you to make you know- started Asuma while standing up taking the box of cigarettes from the table and placing it on his vest pocket –and I honestly don't know why would you…-

-Alright I'm sorry I'm sorry- Gai pleaded, being careful not to laugh so he wouldn't offend his partner any further.

Asuma took a look at his friend's face as to see if he really meant it, and after some thought he took his sit back. Once sitting he sighed -who am I kidding, I will, but I resent the fact that you presume it you know? – He smiled weakly facing Gai.

-And… not even a word about Kurenai's tendency to spill everything I've said to her after… well, the record was on thirty minutes… that's an improvement right?- Asuma's voice was pleading.

Gai on his hand, made a gesture zipping up his mouth –Won't say a word mate- but he couldn't really resist that much now could he? -As long as your lady does I have no need right?-

-Fuck you Gai- Asuma stood again this time with the full purpose of finally leaving.

Realizing he was going to be left off with the bill to pay, Gai sighed and left some billets and coins and went after his fellow jounin all the while screaming for him to wait up, he wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily.

Five minutes later, the same scenario found two different friends arguing about a completely different matter.

-You said he was going to be here! - Naruto was crossing his arms and pouting at Lee

-But he was! – Answered an ashamed Rock Lee –I left him right there! – He said pointing at the very same place he had seen his teacher a while ago.

-Whatever, wanna go and find Sasuke-teme? – He brightened up, all purpose of finding his weird friend's teacher going down the drain –I bet we can take him down!-

-Sure! - And with that they left.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**Author's note:** O.o

I know I've taken a lot of time, so so so so sorry! Don't know what else to say, I know I should have delivered a better chapter than this one, but I did it today, I sort of felt bad for not updating it sooner so…

I remember someone asked me who Zizou was (or what was it lol) well children gather around, haha, Zizou is a "soccer" (for me it'll always be futbol) player, the greatest of this time, he played for France, maybe you know all the head hit fiasco, well he was the one.

Also, sometime ago, I did some draws for another author in fanfiction, I'm too lazy to put it on my page (or to create one for that matter) but she put it in hers, so I'm sending you lot to watch them, her pen name is: **Still Forgotten**, but you can also look her up with her story "**Nothing to Lose**" you'll find my pictures on her profile page, tell me what do you think about it ok? Who knows, maybe I'll draw something for this fic too… I'm lazy though, so I don't promise anything.


	9. Conversation

**Chapter IX:**

"**Conversation"**

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The night was warm and inviting, the stars above shined with renew force, the smell of rain still lingered the air, and the noise of children had been replaced for the silent contempt of couples, all in all, it was a great night to take a stroll, not that Kakashi minded, he knew he would have done it anyway, it was part of his routine, part of his every day life. He raised his head to take a better look at the sky, stopping his walk momentarily, perhaps wondering how life had brought him there.

It was a surprise when returning his gaze at front, the lights of a familiar home touched his eyes. How could he have not noticed how close he was already?

Bravely taking the first step he went forward, ready to confront whatever fate had landed him there, briefly realizing the importance that this meeting held. Because this time it wasn't like any other, this time he would not sit under some window waiting for a shadow to appear, tonight he had been invited, tonight he would enter a house he had visited so many times before in his mind, he would finally confirm in the realm of reality what his imagination along with his senses had drawn so long ago.

The shadows of the leafless tree brought back memories from that morning, the way it had all started.

It was bright in the morning, it couldn't had been noon yet, the sun wasn't that high; Kakashi had just left his students doing some censured pity D censured rank mission, as Naruto had said. He didn't blame him, after all, all he had done was informed them that after waiting for hours for him to appear, they would have to spend the next four cleaning leafs at some rich woman's garden.

But he had spent the first four hours quiet rightly he supposed, he was coming back to the routine he had created for himself and had appreciated so much before; he decided to ignore the "porch accident" as he had begun to call it, just as he had done it with the kiss one, as if it hadn't happened at all, Iruka was only his, there was nothing that could taint him.

So here he was now, back to that beloved spot on the academy tree, watching carefully Iruka's every move, happy to be alive for once, imagining the smell of oranges he would be surrounded with today.

The noise of loud children woke him up from his dreamy state, it was lunch time, he would get a hold of Iruka's face now, and so he waited, watching fervently at the window, hoping for his image to appear…

When not even a shadow graced him, he began to worry, this wasn't a test day, Iruka couldn't be at the teachers room, but if he wasn't there, then where?

After some painful minutes of waiting, he decided he would enter the academy; he needed to know what had happened to Iruka.

He was still on his branch when he noticed a presence, he turned his head quickly to where he felt it, surprised to find his chuunin sitting at the tree he was on, seemingly about to eat… perhaps Iruka hadn't seen him, but then he noticed the way Iruka held the orange, staring at it, not really interested in doing anything else.

-So, are you going to come down or should I go up there- Iruka's head finally turned to look at him.

Kakashi could feel his own heart beat racing, could he had been discovered?

-How long have you been there? – He dared to ask, afraid of what the man might say

-Long enough…-

Kakashi's head turned up to look at the sky, sighing.

-So you finally found out uh? – He turned to look at the man, smiling –it took you a while-

They both stayed silent for the next few seconds, neither of them knowing what to say next, what was proper…

Iruka seemed about to say something but was cut off by the ring bell marking the end of lunch time, so he raised slowly and clean himself up.

Without even turning to look at him or sparing him a glance he waved goodbye, his last words floating in the air.

-I'll be waiting for you tonight… we need to talk-

…

And so, here he was, standing once more at the edge of his home, perhaps for the last time.

He walked slowly to the door and raised his hand in an attempt to give the first knock, hesitating on doing it, a fierce need of running away overwhelming him, he sighed and almost laugh at his sudden fear; he composed himself and firmly knocked on the door twice.

At first he felt the silent, and thought of running once more, but then some light steps could be heard in what he believed was the hallway and he sighed resigned.

The door opened and showed an emotionless chuunin, -_bad sign_- Kakashi thought

Time became still as Kakashi observed his features; maybe looking for some sign, for hope.

When he found none, he sighed.

-So… are you going to let me in? – He faked a smile

Iruka probably didn't noticed how long he had been standing there, completely oblivious at his lack of courtesy, so when he did, he became flustered.

-I… I'm sorry- he quickly moved away of the entrance giving him space to pass.

-Thanks- Kakashi offered yet another smile

They moved into the house and Iruka showed him to the living room, both of them taking seats in opposite sides, falling into silence once more, staring at each other.

Iruka was the one who broke the eye contact first, somehow ashamed of it, cursing his blushing habits he offered Kakashi something to drink.

Something light up in Kakashi's mind, maybe this wouldn't be that bad after all.

-I'll take camomile if you have some- he knew it was the chuunins favourite beverage and that he stored it by tons.

He must have said something wrong though, because the change on Iruka's face was immediately noticeable, he looked beyond angry.

-I have none- he retorted harshly, but after watching the jounin's shocked expression, he seemed to reconsider –I'm sorry, I'll see what I can do- and so he was off to the kitchen, leaving a still shocked Kakashi to ponder.

What could he have possibly said so wrong that infuriated the chuunin like that?

Kakashi was immerse in his own thoughts, oblivious to the world around him, rapidly going on about every movement he had done from the moment he had set foot into the house, incapable of finding the reason of Iruka's reaction.

All of his thoughts were quickly shut down when he realised Iruka was still standing on the door sill, and Kakashi wondered if he had gone into the kitchen at all, since he was with his back against him and he didn't seem to hold any cup between his hands.

-This probably was a mistake- Kakashi heard the words whispered and felt Iruka's breathing go faster.

Without giving Kakashi time to react, Iruka turned around and went to the front door, opening it widely.

-This is a mistake- he said louder –You should go-

Kakashi was still too stunned to even pronounce a word, he kept sitting there, as if he hadn't heard anything, opening his mouth from time to time to try and say something and finally deciding to stand up, feeling the rage of the past days coming back to him.

-Genma doesn't love you- he met Iruka's gaze as he said it, and noticed how the teacher's fists were clenching furiously.

He knew from the moment he said it that he shouldn't have, he knew he was hurting him, but the words had escaped his mouth without him even realising it.

Through Iruka's face, Kakashi could noticed, passed shock and anger, finally staying still in a laconic grin.

-So is that it? – Iruka asked seemingly amused, although Kakashi knew better –You don't think Genma can love me uh? – He looked at the floor and then back at the jounin, another fake smile plastered across his face –Is this what we're going to talk about then?–

-Iruka I…- Kakashi tried to amend it, but was cut off quickly by the other

-I was just wondering, I mean- Iruka looked directly at him –I thought we were going to talk about how I don't love you-

Kakashi felt he had been stabbed to the floor, too shocked from the chuunin's words to say anything.

He had expected the chuunin to be angry, to shoot at him incompressible insults, to throw him out of his house, to swear eternal hatred… he hadn't expected this though; he hadn't expected to have his heart broken.

And so, he picked up the pieces and without even noticing he took the first step, out of Iruka's home and out of Iruka's life.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**Author's note:** well here I am again! So sorry I took so long updating this! I don't have a valid excuse I guess, I was just being my lazy self, although I must admit I tried to get myself to write in the past month, but I got cut up on the vice that is Indian movies, and believe me, they are addictive! And furthermore, they made me so sad that I couldn't even think of the story… honestly! Why is it that I watch Indian movies again? They all make me cry! Well except the funny ones I guess…

On the crying note, I guess I wasn't feeling very merciful when I wrote this… so… sorry? Hehe I'm evil.

Poor Kakashi, will he forget about Iruka so easily?

I have something special prepared for next chapter (it's on the makings already!), you know, being the 10th chapter and all.

Oh, also! I have some pics that I would like to share with you O.O haha, hope you like them, the link is in my profile, go and take a look.(homepage link) perhaps I'll even draw something from this fic... who knows.

By the way, I couldn't read the previous chapters so if it seems a little off... sorry


	10. Compensation

**Chapter X:**

**"Compensation"**

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Did he deserve it?

Had his words been so terrible that needed instant retaliation?

Could Iruka never truly love him…?

Those were the things Kakashi had been thinking from the moment he had made it to his place.

At first he had wondered the streets, walking blindly to an unknown destination, he didn't care, all his mind was screaming for him to do was to get away as far and quickly as possible.

So here he was now, lying on his bed and thinking of him, as he had done so many times before, but this time there was a sad feeling to it, the memories would flew back as painful reminders, taking away as little hope as he had held.

He was feeling ill, physically hurting, and a sudden need to throw up overwhelmed him, so he pulled himself from his bed to the bathroom, but once he got there he couldn't, instead he just stood there, watching himself in the mirror, numbness creeping up his body, the nauseous feeling never letting go.

How long had he been there, he couldn't tell, he kept spacing out, completely oblivious to his surroundings, he didn't want to feel or to think.

Slowly he sat on his bathroom floor, never caring for how cold it was, in fact, he embraced it, he felt he needed it, he was so warmth and the floor was a way to relief him from it.

If he could have only fall sleep… perhaps this would all go away.

His world was swirling around him, images could not stay still, his head ached and his vision was blurry, but through it all… he saw him.

-Iruka..? – How sweet his name sounded

-I'm sorry- The vision said –Are you ok?-

Kakashi took a moment to shake up the blurriness, taking in his surroundings.

He was still in his house, still on his bathroom floor… He sat up straight and attempted to stand himself up, but the vision in front of him stopped him.

-Are you ok? - He seemed worry

Kakashi couldn't stop himself from smiling; this could not be but an illusion.

-Does it matter? - He decided to play along

-Damn Kakashi, you should take more care of yourself- the image frowned and sat right next to him.

Kakashi's mind woke up from its dream state, making him realise what was actually happening and blush slightly at the cold breeze that touched his unmasked face.

Quickly he turned his head to look at the chuunin, who sat there as if nothing had happened before, as if he hadn't turned his heart to pieces.

-What…- He couldn't think of anything to say, shocked at realising this was actually happening –How did you enter?-

-Your landlord let me in- Iruka blushed and smiled –He wasn't very happy thought-

They both fell silent and Iruka's smile slowly faded.

-I really am sorry you know- he finally said –I shouldn't have said that-

-You don't love me- Kakashi's voice became harsh –There's no way of soften that up-

Iruka stared at him for a moment and then sighed. How Kakashi hoped he would say he was lying, but the chuunin stayed silent, breaking his heart a little more.

-You are right…- Iruka broke the silence once more –Genma doesn't love me-

-Am I supposed to pity you?-

Kakashi didn't want to talk about Genma; he didn't want to think of them together.

Iruka gave him a sharp look, but ignored the retort.

-He says he does- Iruka looked at the floor and then back at Kakashi –I know he's lying though-

-Raidou? - Kakashi helped in, anger rising at Genma for putting such a sad face on his beloved chuunin.

To Kakashi's surprise Iruka broke laughing, it was mirthless though, Kakashi knew him and could tell by how he was avoiding his gaze now.

-Raidou? – Iruka seemed contemplative for a moment –I guess it could be, I don't know- He had been playing with a little thread in his trousers, finally letting go to stare at Kakashi.

-Love cannot be just that-

Iruka looked sad and Kakashi could not stand it… that vision in front of him, he could not let him be saddened, but there were no words in his mind, no ingenious joke, no proper comment.

So all he could think to do was to hug him, and for a while he felt Iruka hugging him back.

-I love you...-

They were still hugging, but he could feel Iruka's body tense up and finally pull back… away from him.

Kakashi was expectant, he watched how the other looked away, not daring to look at him, maybe just don't wanting to.

-No you don't- Iruka's voice did not hesitate, he didn't even turn to look at the jounin while he said it and stood up to leave.

He was about to turn the handle of the bathroom door, since at some point it had been closed, when he felt a hand clenching around his wrist, pulling him… making him fall.

Iruka fell upon Kakashi's body and was quickly locked into a kiss, one in which the jounin tried to pour all of his emotions towards him.

After what could have been hours Iruka pulled back, stand up slowly and opened the door, now more than ever intending to leave.

Kakashi followed him to the living room and noticed how the chuunin had stopped.

-You should really do something about this- Iruka said, shaking his finger around to signal the room.

-You could always help me- Kakashi dared.

-Stop it…- The chuunin turned to finally look at him –I won't play house with you- he seemed angered –and that kiss… it should have never happened-

-I love you- Kakashi repeated seriously –and you cannot make me forget that-

-Stop saying that- Iruka was blushing angrily, obviously distressed –You don't love me! You don't even know me! –

They were surrounded by silence once more, both of them looking away, immerse in their own thoughts.

-I know you better than you know yourself, and I do…-

Kakashi was pushed backwards; Iruka seemed to be beyond angry now.

-Just because you stalk me…- Iruka raged –Just because… don't think you know me for just some facts you might have caught up about me-

-I lo…-

-Stop saying that! - Iruka finally punched him, breathing heavily afterwards, amazed at how Kakashi had let him do it.

-What do you know about me?!- The chuunin had tears forming in his eyes –What do I eat? How do I walk?-

-The way you smile, the way you frown, the way you blush at things- kakashi stand up again since that blow had landed him on the floor –the way you care for others- Kakashi laugh as he cleaned the blood droplets from his eye.

Iruka looked at him but could not restrain himself from hating that smile.

-What if I've slept with him? - He said with a venomous glare –I bet you couldn't stand that could you-

Kakashi froze, smile gone from his face, a menacing loath glowing in his eyes.

-You haven't… he has not touched you… has he?-

-Does it matter?–

Iruka could see the effect his words were having in Kakashi's body, the way it trembled with contained rage.

-So… does it matter? Would that make me filthy? – Iruka had a vicious gleam in his eyes –Would that taint me? Make me disgusting? – He had been getting closer and closer to Kakashi, asking him to look him in the eyes.

-You wouldn't…- Kakashi's voice went out with struggle.

-And you would know right? – Iruka paused his taunting to make the other look at him -Because you know me so well… right?-

Kakashi willingly looked at him, eyes getting threatening, which made Iruka for the first time realise who he was dealing with, so he stepped back a little, afraid of what the other might do to him.

Kakashi started to move towards the chuunin, emitting a dark aura which reached the other man, who, knowing the situation he was in, tried to move away, but to no avail. The jounin had clenched his hands around Iruka's wrists once more, pushing him to the wall, pressing him against it.

-So…- he started –did you?-

Kakashi's voice was more than enough to terrorise any other man, but today Iruka felt brave and not taking his gaze from the other he answered.

-I did-

Those simple words were more than enough to make the jounin loose his mind, and before he could restrain himself he started kissing the chuunin fiercely, not really caring but pleasantly surprised when he realised the other was responding just as eagerly.

They kept kissing there, and between bites and sighs they were taking out their anger.

Slowly, the kisses became softer, needier, but still full of that rage that really wasn't.

Kakashi became aware of his hands still clenched around Iruka's, making them stiff, and slowly took the pressure off, lacing their fingers and kissing Iruka's wrists as if asking forgiveness for the hurt he had caused them.

Iruka was aware of what Kakashi was thinking and that awareness brought a smirk to his lips, after which he bitted Kakashi's earlobe.

-I'm not made of porcelain-

Kakashi was cut by surprise and stared for a while at him, smiling after noticing how Iruka's eyes gleamed with playfulness, and he wondered what other looks he could get out of the chuunin.

Once again they stayed silent, but this time neither of them looked away, instead they reengaged in their previous activity, as eagerly and forcefully as ever.

Kakashi took again Iruka's wrists and pulled him against his own body, embracing him, hugging him and being hugged harshly.

Iruka never noticed when had they stumbled into Kakashi's room, at least not until he found himself being launched upon the bed and trapped against it by Kakashi's own body.

This was going to be a long night.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**Author's note:** hahaha I had to end the chapter there //wants to keep it clean//

So, it isn't very long and it isn't very good but... happy ten chapter anniversary! Well… that would be more for me wouldn't it? I wanted to thank everyone who has been so patient with me and read the whole story, and what better way to do that than having Ruka and Kashi together? Yeah… I thought so.

Sorry for the crapyness of it all though, I might have thrown them together too quickly... oh well

There's also another present! If you go to my profile page and enter the home thingy(the link I put there) it'll take you to a new image I've drawn, and it's in full colour too! It's the moment Iruka finds out, hope you like it!

By the way, don't think this is over yet! If you thought I've put too much angst before, wait to see what I have in store! Well nothing much really, but there are still some things that need to be cleared up.

See ya!

http:// pics . livejournal . com / loveprettynerds / pic / 0000p2cd / g2

without the spaces


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